To Bloom or Not To Bloom

I like information. You could call me an information junkie. I like to research, read and then write about what I have learned. I like knowing "stuff!" So, another term for me could be... "a-know-it-all." It's okay... I am coming to terms with this label and finding out how to use my powers for good and not evil. Ha, ha! :P I used to write stories and poems as a kid and teen, and inevitably, they would represent some part of me: past, present, or future. Maybe, someday, I will take the time to write like that again... If and when the inspiration hits.  But, for today (January 6th), I wanted to see who else, out there, had experienced what I have and what they had to say about it. It reminds me that we are never alone... there is nothing "new under the sun." It was a cathartic exercise for me, since, today is my 16th anniversary. It's ok... I'm ok.... So, today I looked up quotes and one liners. I love finding great quotes! You will see so...

Whew... breathe . Sometimes, I just have to remind myself to breathe. Sounds silly, I know, but in this place, sometimes you forget to do the most basic of things to keep yourself alive.... breathe.   I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't cry so much in front of the kids... I would keep a "lid on it," so to speak. But of course, whenever you make a resolution, it's the first 24 hours that seems to pull out all of the punches. I have cried a lot tonight. And, of course, right after I wrote my last blog about not looking back but pushing forward.... well, I get thrown back and moving forward just seems impossible.  I am just keeping it real here, folks. No one can go through a life altering blow without injury.  The car has crashed, and we are all coming out of it alive, but forever altered. I think that I sat in the smoldering car a little too long. My injuries have me crawling and sometimes just slithering away. I can't seem to stay away from...

I love to take pictures! My girls and I will get together and see how many distorted faces we can make and take in one photo session. Its loads of fun, ,but never anything I would allow to get out into the public!!! NO WAY!! Most of the time, we just hit "delete" and keep going. My older daughter and I might threaten each other that we are going to post it to each others profile page on facebook, but we never do. Why? I mean, we had great fun making those pics, why not let the world see us in our silly, laugh out loud moments? Not to mention the pictures taken when I am off guard, or not at my best? The humid days when I look like little orphan Annie got electrocuted! Or when I am not standing just right and sucking in my gut? Or, my favorite pics when little daughter shoots a picture from below, and I look like I am ALL chest?? You know those pics? The not-so-perfect-let-me-preview-that-pic-before-you-save-it-oooh-its-so-bad-let-me-delete-that-and-try-again-pic??? Isn...

A seed. Mixed into an envelope with many other seeds. Varieties of all kinds. Pulled from the package and placed into a dark, moist, dirty, lonely hole. Then completely covered with more dirt and drowned with water. If I wasn't more sure, I would think that is just what I am. Alone. Covered. Overwhelmed. Drowning. Dirty. In a place that sees more darkness than light. How did I get here? Who put me in this pot? Why am I in over my head? Are there any other seeds out there?? I prefer to plant flowers that have already begun to grow. I mean who really wants to wait around to watch for seeds to sprout? I would much rather have a beautiful bush of mums on my front porch than a bunch of dirt filled pots! Right?? And waiting for a seed to grow?? Who has the patience? If I am decorating around my home, I want beauty NOW . Not in 6 to 8 weeks.... or longer. You know, planting a seed has often times reminded me of burial. Especially with my not-so-green thumb. I have to hope and pray t...