To Bloom or Not To Bloom

My morning consisted of many activities, but one stands out above the rest. It is a conversation that I had with God. I did as I do many days, I talk audibly to the open air in my house. I concentrate in prayer more easily when I talk out loud. I presented my laundry list of concerns and posed many questions about upcoming events in the near future. I reminded Him of imposing deadlines that would surely determine major events in the lives of whom I am held accountable. I reminded Him that many of these decisions could be very costly and involve many players. AND I reminded him again of the deadlines quickly approaching.... again.  Mind you, these are no small decisions and they have not risen overnight. After posing these issues to Him time and time again over the past year, I am beginning to wonder if my communication line is completely broken down. Surely, He knows that I have to have a job to support my family... that my landlord is awaiting my decision to stay or vacat...

Whew... breathe . Sometimes, I just have to remind myself to breathe. Sounds silly, I know, but in this place, sometimes you forget to do the most basic of things to keep yourself alive.... breathe.   I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't cry so much in front of the kids... I would keep a "lid on it," so to speak. But of course, whenever you make a resolution, it's the first 24 hours that seems to pull out all of the punches. I have cried a lot tonight. And, of course, right after I wrote my last blog about not looking back but pushing forward.... well, I get thrown back and moving forward just seems impossible.  I am just keeping it real here, folks. No one can go through a life altering blow without injury.  The car has crashed, and we are all coming out of it alive, but forever altered. I think that I sat in the smoldering car a little too long. My injuries have me crawling and sometimes just slithering away. I can't seem to stay away from...

"If Satan can keep you looking back, he can keep you from moving forward. It's a new day. Press on ." Dr. Tony Evans What does pressing on look like? And if this is a "new day" and a "new year".... why does it look and feel so much like the old one? Accepting this new role as a single... single mom... is the challenge of accepting many things that are completely beyond my control. One of them being, accepting the simple fact, that I am not in control of anything.  Sometimes the car turns to the left, sometimes it doesn't. The ice maker... well, doesn't make anything. I have no idea what the next day will bring... more bills, more worries, more heartache???  Or, could this "new day, new year" actually bring new good things?  There's "the rub." I don't know, and I have no control over any of it.  I do my best and the rest... well, it's up to Him. Jeremiah 29:11 has come to my attention several times to...